Yes, coaching is a service, but above all, it is a relationship between the client and the coach.
So, you feel stuck in a certain area of your life or career and decided to get some help. Or you simply feel like you are ready to bring your self-development to the next level with the help of a coach. You have already found someone who seems to be the right coach for you,: someone you trust who is skilled and qualified to provide you with the right support, someone you feel you can be completely open with, someone who makes you feel held but also sufficiently challenged.
Your only concern is: How can I make sure I will really benefit from coaching? What if coaching will not work for me?
If you don’t have any prior experience with coaching, these concerns are common. Coaching is a quite abstract service and the experience with coaching can be very difficult to describe. Coaching is a little bit like looking into a mirror – and because everyone is unique, so is the experience with coaching.
From my experience with my clients, the timing can be a crucial factor that often defines whether my client will achieve all the results they are hoping for. To make sure it is the right time for you to benefit from coaching fully, there are a couple of things you can check in with yourself before making your final decision to start coaching now.
First, I will start with some signs that you might not (yet) to be ready.
Coaching might NOT work for you if…
- You want to be told that you are right.
A good coach understands why you feel a certain way and sympathizes with you. However they are not here to agree with everything you say. They might challenge you for your own sake – are you ready to have your “truths” challenged?
- You want to remain the victim of your situation.
Yes, it can feel very comfortable to blame the circumstances and other people for our situation. But believing in being a victim makes it much more difficult for us to acquire the motivation to actually DO something. Are you ready to explore other versions of your story?
- You expect to receive advice or a ready-made plan that you could follow.
There are situations in life when we long to be told what to do or get advice from others who “have been there”. It is easier to choose between yes and no rather than explore the infinite amount of possibilities. As a coach, I strongly believe that every person and every situation is unique. That’s why their situation requires tailored creative solutions that origin in their values and unique needs. That is the reason why coaching is not about giving advice – it is rather facilitating the process of uncovering our own, unique ideas that bring sustainable improvement into our lives. Are you ready to make the effort to explore what is possible specifically for YOU?
- You see coaching as your “last option” and have no mental energy to invest into it.
If you have booked your first session with a coach and all you have left is the capacity to come to the session, “collapse” and “see what happens”, you might not be ready to benefit from it. Yes, it is easier to deal with your situation with the support of a coach rather than on your own. But there is no possible way for your coach to do anything for you without your active participation and commitment. Are you ready to invest your energy?
And now let’s have a look at the signs that you, on the contrary, ARE ready to “get your hands dirty” with some good coaching and maximize the benefits that coaching brings.
Coaching will work for you if…
- You are ready to trust the process.
Are you ready to take a look at yourself and your situation with a beginner’s mind or do you already “know what’s best”? It is very important that you are open to explore your situation with fresh eyes and a different perspective. That is the way you can build new awareness and move to the next level instead of staying stuck.
- You are ready to let go of your old stories and beliefs.
We all have certain stories we keep telling ourselves: I can never be good at sports due to my body type. I’m not someone people want to build a stable relationship with. I can never land my dream job because I’m not that lucky. What is the origin of your beliefs? How valid are they today? What are they protecting you from? Are you ready to get curious and eventually rewrite some of your stories?
- You are ready to stop blaming your surroundings.
I can’t quit this job because I have to pay the mortgage. I will never get that promotion because my boss doesn’t like me… Isn’t it comfortable to let the circumstances define our lives? But you do want to make a change. So, are you willing to take charge and play your part and take all the responsibilities that come with it?
- You are ready to dedicate some time and effort to reflect.
During the coaching sessions many things will fall into place. Are you ready to spend some time deepening your learning even more? Are you ready to put your new awareness into practice even if it might not feel comfortable at first?
- You are ready to face the “scary” truth.
As I already wrote in some of my previous articles, it can be very scary for many people to challenge their status quo and their beliefs about who they are and where they are going. Are you ready to face something you might have been suppressing and avoiding for a long time?
The bottom line:
Yes, coaching is a service, but above all, it is a relationship between the client and the coach. The right coach is always fully committed to supporting you to get where you need. It is equally important that YOU commit to the same goal and you are ready to work towards it. Once this is the case, you and your coach can create a relationship that empowers you to achieve your goals and, in most cases, even much more than that. Are you ready to open your eyes and see all the opportunities?
If you enjoyed reading this article, feel free to check out I don’t need coaching, I think about my situation a lot!