The moment of freezing

This is a picture of me 3 years ago. I was supposed to give a 2-slide presentation about my then-team and talk about our vision and the work we do. Easy-peasy! After the first couple of sentences, I completely froze and could not get myself talking again. I was paralyzed and just stood there, silently staring at my audience. The ultimate public-speaking nightmare became my reality. After what felt like an eternity, my colleague took over and finished what was supposed to be my “5 minutes of fame”, and the meeting went on as if nothing happened.

But something did happen. The moment I froze in front of my audience and my colleagues, something in me refused to tell the story; I did not feel a part of it anymore, no matter how hard I tried.

Sometimes, we try to make something work out so badly that we forget what we truly want. We want to love this fantastic job because it has all the qualities appreciated by most people. We work hard to become good at it. We can bullshit ourselves into believing that’s where we want to spend our energy. We do this until we reach the point when we can’t. It took me ten years to get there.

Since that moment of freezing, I knew it was time to accept that I need something else to feel fulfilled and that the path towards creating a fulfilling life will probably be quite challenging, even painful. But I had no choice but to move forward.

I’m still not the best public speaker, but talking about my current work feels easy and effortless, and so does building my business. Not because it is not hard, but because it is what I believe in.

Where in your life are YOU fighting with yourself?

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