Some people see coaching as their last option when it comes to getting unstuck in their life. They start to look for a coach after spending years and years going in circles, over-thinking, reading self-help literature and following the well intended advice of their loved ones. When none of that seems to be working, they become tired of their situation and strive to move forward as quickly as possible. Sometimes they even hope to be guaranteed that in x amount of weeks, their life will be ‘fixed’ and their problems will disappear.
Some of my potential clients, when they approach me, are already exhausted and overwhelmed, done with their situation. This is it, coach, show me what you can do with this mess!
We, as human beings, are such optimists. If things are great, we tend to think they will be great forever. If things are tolerable, we expect them to improve. If things turn really bad, we hope for a quick fix to be available. Only to find that! But why do we give so much power to outer circumstances? What makes us believe that we ‘deserve’ things to be good — that is how things should be by default? This is the way we lose control.
Life coaching is not at all about fixing a problem, although problems are likely to be solved. The thing is it can be very hard and painful for many people to challenge their status quo and their beliefs about who they are and where are they going. And that is the reason why many of us just need to be in a really unbearable situation to agree with doing this ‘dirty work’ with a life coach. It takes an enormous amount of courage.
I think everyone can benefit from life coaching — not only people who are stuck or facing a challenge — It is equally beneficial to work with a life coach in order to prevent ending up in such a situation. Coaching is a powerful tool to gain more control over your life. We can’t always influence what is going to happen to us but we can control our reactions. We have the capacity to focus on what is truly important to us, if we are sure of what that is. And the truth is that the majority of us are not sure at all.
The society tries to tell us that there is a universal recipe for success and happiness: Get a nice job in a respected company. Buy a nice car and a big house. Get a promotion every two years. If you feel tired, go for all-inclusive holiday. But how can we expect the same results when we are all so different? Life coaching supports you to define your own formula and definition of what success, fulfillment and happiness means to you.
Wouldn’t it be more effective to first “read your own life manual” than after your life seems to be “broken”?