Don't know what your strengths are? Change your focus!

Photo by Tamanna Rumee on Unsplash

"I have no idea what my strengths are," I hear from many people despite their years of rich work experience, successful juggling of various roles in life, and overcoming many challenges on the way. They might even be recognized experts in their field. And yet, they seem to struggle to see what other people admire them for - after all, they just do what they are supposed to be doing, and everyone in their position would do the same, right? 

Do those people genuinely have no idea what their strengths are? Usually not. After all, they typically get regular feedback on their performance, they might have several promotions under their belt, and sometimes they are explicitly appreciated for their contribution and impact by people around them. The perceived lack of strengths awareness or feeling there are no strengths worth mentioning is usually more about dismissing what they know about their qualities and instead focusing on other things, like:

Comparing themselves to others: "I could never be such a data analyst as the person XY because I don't have as much experience as they do." 

Wanting to have specific strengths to fit into a box of a particular idea of who they "should be: "I could never be a good manager because I'm an introvert."

Being hard on themselves and taking what they already achieved for granted: "Yes, I've been successful in this role for a decade, but I don't think anyone would hire me for a similar position in a different company." 

They point out their flaws, believing they successfully "tricked" other people into thinking they know what they are doing, and if those people knew about their shortcomings, they would immediately be recognized for the fraud they are. They feel stuck, and if they feel the need to make a change, the fear of coming out of their successful "hiding" gets overwhelming, as they don't know what "real" strengths they have. How are they supposed to "sell themselves" for another role if they don't know what they have to offer?

If you recognize yourself in the description above, here are simple ways to clarify your skills and strengths. I invite you to reflect on the following questions:

Thanks to your strengths, you are who and where you are in life. What are those strengths? 

And I don't care if "they are not unique" or if "Everyone could do that." they ARE strengths nonetheless and deserve acknowledgement. And no, not everyone could do that. Just write down a list of your different roles/functions in life (both present and past ones), for example: professional, friend, colleague, dog owner, artist, traveler, athlete, student, etc. and write down what strengths and skills make/made you great at each role. What strengths and skills did you develop thanks to these roles? What was/is your positive impact in each role?

What would people around you (your colleagues, family members, friends, travel/sports companions) say about your strengths if they were asked? 

This one is interesting as we subconsciously know our impact on other people. Sometimes, we are even directly complimented on our unique qualities. Still, we tend to dismiss those words as simple politeness—but what if you replayed them in your mind this time and genuinely heard and unacknowledged their meaning?

What if the results of those strength assessments you took are true?

When you say you don't know your strengths, don't pretend you did not take one of those strength-assessment tests, like CliftonStrengths or Myers-Briggs - you were excited to read the results but forgot about them one week later. Re-open or re-do the test again and let your results sink in - what would be possible for you if they were true?

What if your perceived weaknesses are hidden strengths? 

Yes, you could keep saying: "I'm too shy and not a native speaker of this language, so I will never be a good public speaker." But what if those qualities were precisely what your audience needs? What could be your advantage? And no, you will never be "the best public speaker ever" for everyone, even if you were "perfect" in your eyes (and let's be honest, that would probably never happen), so why not let that idea go?

If you reflect on these questions, you might see that you have many strengths. They might even already sound familiar. Stop dismissing them. Start owning, nurturing, and taking them to the next level. You can always decide to focus on your developmental areas later whilst building on what you already have rather than desperately trying to fit into your imaginary image of who you "should" be and what you "should" know. This is who you are. This is what you already have. Please don't ignore it.

In conclusion, recognizing and embracing your strengths involves shifting your focus from perceived inadequacies to celebrating your inherent qualities. Acknowledging the feedback you receive from others, reflecting on your achievements, and valuing the insights from strength assessments can help you uncover a clearer picture of your capabilities. 

Remember, your strengths are unique to you and play a crucial role in shaping who you are and where you are in life. Stop downplaying your abilities and start giving them the recognition they deserve. Doing so will pave the way for personal growth, greater self-confidence, and the ability to leverage your strengths in new and exciting opportunities. Embrace your strengths, nurture them, and let them guide you towards a fulfilling and successful future on your terms.